Everything that we don't attend to for ourselves in this life is going to move into the future, to the next generation to deal with. We see it on a global scale, but also on a very personal scale, the beliefs that you hold that are limiting you will be the beliefs that will limit the next generation and they will have to do a lot of work to release them. Everything that you can release for yourself now will mean less work for the future people.
So how do we do this? First, becoming aware of the family tree dynamics, of the people who stand behind you. The seven generations. Often we don't have enough information about all seven. But at least two or three we definitely know something about in most cases. If you know nothing about them, then think of what you know about the place they come from, the time in history where they come from, what would have been happening in their lives.
The next step you can do is trace patterns. Look at facts. How many marriages, how many children, reasons for death, illnesses, and ask questions about it, imagining the story, become curious about why things were happening this way and not that way. And then look at what patterns resonate with your own life.
One of the common patterns, in many families and many countries is the ‘missing men’, for example. When men in the family ‘leave’ early in whatever way available to them. I worked with some women where for many generations, only women survived, and the men either died as children or very early in marriage. Another pattern could be ‘unavailable mothers’, when even if present physically on some level the mother’s heart is closed to her child. This is often a multi generational pattern too. Also it could be that you notice that at a certain age children of every generation go through a particular experience - like moving a country.
These patterns will continue to journey from generation to generation and they are triggered by some unacknowledged trauma in the past. When you see the pattern, find its root and resolve it in some way on that level, you release it from the family system, healing both the future and the past generations, but especially creating more freedom for your own life to be more fulfilled, meaningful and wholehearted. Family constellations could be of great help in finding the roots of the patterns and offering a way to resolve the entanglement. Through ritual you could also access the places where trauma is held in the family system and invite resources to support it and heal it. If you'd like to know more about this and dive into this beautiful work please let me know, I'd be honoured to guide you.
I am fascinated by the Systemic Family Constellations work and everything shamanic. I study it, practice it, research it. Here, I am sharing what I learn and hope it can be of use to somebody interested in healing their families, communities and lives.
In 2019 I published some of my poetry inspired by systemic work in this journal. It is available as PDF, Kindle or printed at the link above.