My body is my compass, and it does not lie, writes Terry Tempest Williams in ‘When women were birds’. I agree. For me my body is my intuition. When I want to really see or feel what is going on, I go inside. Into my heart, my belly, my hips, and bones. My favourite rest place is in the back of my head about two centimetres in – an incredibly quiet place.
It took years to trust my body though. Not to start feeling, as I believe my body has always felt everything, but to start trusting what it tells me. This is probably one of the most important gifts I received practicing constellations – trust my body. This is why it is called an experiential process.
It takes time but with constellations it is easier - there are witnesses who testify the truth of what your body presents you with. What I say or do is exactly how somebody’s mother or brother would say or do. In the beginning there is a lot of doubt and self-consciousness. I don’t know what exactly I feel or why, but I have to trust my body enough to report it. Then there is a confirmation from a client and a quiet triumph inside – I told you so, you just need to trust me. Now I do.
(Art: Aleksandra Shymina and Louie Gardiner)
Every step of the process is meaningful from beginning to the end. From the moment you decide to attend a constellation group to the moment you leave the room, every step contributes to the final result.
Constellation circle creates a temporary mini system where all elements connect and impact each other. Before everyone gathers I prepare the space and ask that the work is meaningful for each and everyone who turns up. Whoever come are the right people to be there.
When we finally settle down, we ground ourselves through a meditation, to arrive, to be present, to create an intention for the work. We become a circle. We co-create and hold the field allowing deep movement to happen in anyone within the field.
As an issue holder you are asking all elements of the circle to support your intention and facilitate acceptable resolution. As a representative you enter the field and allow it do the work through you and for you. The most effective work happens while you are in the field, when you are representing and at the same time releasing what doesn’t serve your own life any more.
Every step of a constellation process is a little ritual and together they create a collective ceremony that has beginning, middle and end. The more we are aligned with each other and in tune with the field the deeper work is possible. We become part of the work and the work becomes part of us. Take any of these elements out and the magic drops.
You are welcome and you are essential from the very beginning to the very end.
I am fascinated by the Systemic Family Constellations work and everything shamanic. I study it, practice it, research it. Here, I am sharing what I learn and hope it can be of use to somebody interested in healing their families, communities and lives.
In 2019 I published some of my poetry inspired by systemic work in this journal. It is available as PDF, Kindle or printed at the link above.