I do really hope that you are all well and if not that you have good support around you and within you to hold you through this time. For myself, I find going through waves of grieving requires a lot of love to my inner child and strong presence of my ancestors. Some of that grief belongs to them and I allow it to be released, at last. I wanted to share with you a ritual that might help with clarifying what is yours and respectfully let go of what is not - a wheel of releasing suffering and grief. For this ritual you need to be really slow and kind to yourself, different emotions might come up and some quite strong. If it gets too much, stop, rest and come back to it when you are ready.
As always, you will need some stones to use as markers on the wheel and as representatives. Also helpful to know the four directions. Set up stones in the East, South, West, North and in the middle. Also, if possible, mark the area around your wheel to create the Blue Line. On this Wheel we represent ancestors who have been through big traumatic life changing global events, like we are now in. Maybe it was a war, unrest, conflict, famine, pandemic, poverty, regime, persecutions, revolution, etc. Stones represent the following:
Middle - You
South - Ancestors who survived and rebuilt their life successfully
North - Ancestors who did not survive
West - Ancestors who survived and lost (property, possessions, loved ones etc)
East - Ancestors who survived and gained (possessions, wealth, new family members, etc)
Blue Line - space around the Wheel, place of healing, Divine Love, place outside of suffering and any dynamics
In this ritual you start in the middle and you end in the middle. Begin with a meditation, setting an intention to release suffering that does not belong to you, with respect and honour to those who came before you. Tune in to which direction you are drawn first. Stand in that representation, noticing body sensations and any information that comes. If emotions are strong remember that you are representing, and you can choose how much you are in it, feel it but don't drown in it, as it will not help the process. When you are ready, still as representative, step into the Blue Line outside the wheel with a prayer of releasing and transcending suffering of these ancestors. Do this in each Direction. It could be that you will be drawn to do a little ritual within a ritual, for example offering flowers to those who didn't survive to honour their experience, or bringing some spiritual objects to those who survived to support them. Be attentive and creative, make it into your own ritual. When you feel you have done enough, come back to the middle and say thank you to all ancestors, that despite all the suffering they still passed on life, so that you can be here now. With respect, declare your boundary around carrying their suffering. Close the ritual.
I am fascinated by the Systemic Family Constellations work and everything shamanic. I study it, practice it, research it. Here, I am sharing what I learn and hope it can be of use to somebody interested in healing their families, communities and lives.
In 2019 I published some of my poetry inspired by systemic work in this journal. It is available as PDF, Kindle or printed at the link above.