Attachment theory is a popular subject now. Here is a way to explore it in a ritual form
On the Wheel of Four Directions set up You in the middle, and then four attachments in four directions:
South - Secure #attachment
East - Anxious Attachment
West - Fearful- Avoidant Attachment (also called disorganised)
North - Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment
Outside the Wheel set up one stone in each direction to represent a relationship you are looking at, e.g. romantic relationships.
Begin exploring by standing in the centre of the Wheel, in your own place. Notice what it feels like to be surrounded by different attachment styles - different stories, dynamics and behaviours that belong to each style. Drop into your body, observe any physical or emotional sensations that might arise.
Decide which style you'd like to explore first and step into that place (have the stone that represents that style, between your feet, so that you are right above it). Experiment with looking into the centre of the Wheel, at yourself; or outside the Wheel - at the romantic relationships. Notice the difference.
Then step into the place of the Romantic #relationships , facing the attachment style and yourself in the centre of the Wheel. Notice what is happening. For example, when I stood in the romantic relationships in the North, looking at Dismissive-Avoidant attachment I felt my whole body being pushed back, as if that attachment was a wall around my representative in the centre. I took several steps back until this sensations diminished.
In this way, explore each direction. Then consider what resource you could bring into this experience. For me the first thing that came up was Love. I added a representative for Love to each direction between my representative in the centre and representative of the attachment. Then I did all steps from before again, exploring what changes for the Attachment, for the Relationship and for Me in the centre when #love is added.
In my case, Attachments turned to face Love and became much softer towards the Relationship. It felt transformational in a very gentle way.
When you feel you have learned enough, close the #ritual with #gratitude
I am fascinated by the Systemic Family Constellations work and everything shamanic. I study it, practice it, research it. Here, I am sharing what I learn and hope it can be of use to somebody interested in healing their families, communities and lives.
In 2019 I published some of my poetry inspired by systemic work in this journal. It is available as PDF, Kindle or printed at the link above.