Finding your purpose and hearing your calling is only half of the journey. As you begin on a path of following your heart you get challenged by all sorts of feelings of unworthiness, doubts, self criticism, most of which has nothing to do with the path or even you. If we look back, we are probably the first generation in history that can truly choose to do what they are called to do. We have rights, freedoms, role models, and open mind as a collective. If no other woman in your lineage before you was able to do what you are doing now then how would you know how to do it, how would you have the freedom to find your own voice? If before you all there was was suffering, struggling, surviving, how would you have inner permission to be well, abundant and happy? So part of your path to your purpose is your own seeking, and another part is letting go of the loyalties to what has happened before you. If your ancestresses were not as free as you are, honour it by being fully yourself. If they were not able to choose their life fully, respect it by being their wildest dream. They’d wished their descendants to live better.
Finding my way, my path is one of the most asked questions for a systemic work. While walking Camino (a two weeks track from Porto to Santiago de Compostella in Spain) at first it was frustrating when we prepared to walk the distance according to a map only to find out that the Way had nothing to do with a map and had a mind of its own. We kept thinking this must be a joke, we could see the road ahead, straight and flat, but the yellow arrows insisted that we turn left or right, go up or down only to come back to the same straight road miles later. So one day frustration and tiredness peaked and we made a decision to walk straight with the map we had. And it was ok, we got to where we needed to be in good time and the road was easy(ish:). But we also realised how me missed the scenery, the sense of mystery, anticipation and adventure that the Way gave us. There was nothing to look for on the straight road, nothing to be tense about, or excited about, no unexpected gifts like talking to a horse or seeing a donkey or getting some figs off the tree. What I want to say is if right now it seems that your path is making a weird turn, taking you away from an obviously much straighter route - take a deep breath of trust, maybe your Way is just about to get much more fun and adventurous.
A ritual to work with your family stories that might be activating right now. Our ancestors at some point went through what we are going through today but in a very different environment. We might still be entangled deep down with their experiences that could be triggered with the events of today. Please make sure you do it in a safe place, with support and prayer.
We are witnessing history in process. Not for the first time and not for the last. It is a challenge to us and an opportunity in some ways, probably also a blessing. We will understand better when it becomes history history and we'll feel safe to assess its full impact.
Many industries are urgently considering alternatives to how they normally operate looking for inspiration and creativity to continue provide valuable service to community in times of social distancing.
Many of us at some point will seriously consider whether to leave our homes and attend events, workshops, meetings etc, even getting there might seem like a risk not worth taking. And many will have an opportunity to spend more time at home, to protect others.
For those of you interested in systemic and shamanic work, not attending live workshops doesn't mean you need to stop your healing process. This is a great opportunity to dive deeper into your home practice. To explore online work if you feel face to face is too much. In my experience of online constellations, individually and in groups, it holds a different flavour to live work, but it is also in many ways amazing and as effective.
In an online group, I have stones to serve as representatives and they are assigned to people on zoom; you remember which stone/representative you hold as you watch the constellation unfold on your screen and feeling into your body, reporting the changes and shifts and letting me know if you want to move your rep to a different position. For now I find it is easier to do one constellation at a time, as you are focusing much more during it. I am also experimenting with a Ziesoo online constellations platform, where we can just do it on screen. It is exciting and wonderful to be able to continue to do this work reaching those who are across the world and time zones. We really work outside time and space:)
In an individual session on zoom or skype or whatsapp - usually you set up a constellation on your side of the screen and I hold you and walk you through it. It is a beautiful way to experience all representative places, to feel shifts happening within you and get a new perspective on what is going on.
And for your personal practice Family Constellations Cards could be a great help to set up simple constellations, to set up your ancestral field and even do your own rituals. I hope we all use this time to explore, to be creative, to be brave and kind. I am only an email away if you'd like to talk, share your journeys or schedule a piece of work.
This Sunday is International Women's Day and I wanted to share with you a ritual to connect with your women ancestors. Find something to represent them, I usually work with stones that I bring from all over the world and have everywhere at home and in the office. It could also be other objects - cushions, chairs, coffee beans, sweets, even cups and cutlery. Clear space and time for the ritual so that you are not distracted and interrupted, switch off your phone, light a candle, set an intention to connect and greet your ancestresses. One by one start setting them up around you in a circle, giving them a place and calling their representations - 'you represent women of my mother's generation', 'women of my grandmothers' generation', 'women of my great grandmothers' generation' etc. Set up about 13 - 15 generations of women in a circle. Stand in the middle and one by one face women of each generation starting with your mother's. You imagine looking into their eyes, breathing deeply, opening your heart to wish them well and to receive their blessings to you. You could also say a little prayer for each generation - for example, thank you for my life, may you be well, may your family prosper. Tune in to what words come. Remember your intention is to connect and greet them, rather then look at entanglements and problems. See if you could keep your heart open to each generation of women, no matter what you know or don't know about them. Connect to their strength, beauty and resilience. If you find this ritual difficult it is good information for you to keep doing this work. If you find it easy and flowing - enjoy! A good sentence is 'I accept and I receive'. When you finished whole circle close your eyes and gather all of them within you - 'I am my ancestresses' wildest dream'. To close the ritual - step out of the circle and collect the stones/objects releasing them from their roles. Thank yourself for doing this today.
I would love to hear any feedback about how your practice is going, are these emails helpful in any way to you and what other content you'd be interested to receive. Also if you have worked with me before, it would be amazing and precious to hear about your experience and progress. If you'd like and have time you could also leave a review on my facebook page in the reviews section (if you use it, of course)
From recent newsletter:
We are well on the way into this leap year, and for some of us this beginning could be a bit challenging, with days still being quite short and cold. For others the challenges might come with the tax time when feelings of scarcity kick in. Whatever it is, feeling supported is crucially important around this time of year. One of the ways to organise some support for yourself and to step into the power of your ancestral field is to actually practice doing this - a meditation of stepping into your ancestral field. Take some time for yourself, where you know you won't be interrupted, light some candles and maybe smudge the space around you or play some relaxing music. Set up your ancestral field on the floor using little objects - stones, crystals, coffee beans, pencils, constellation cards (as in the picture above). Spend some time with your back to it, feeling them all behind you, then turn around to face them and with a prayer for support and with gratitude for your life move forward into the ancestral field. Walk slowly through it sensing with your body - where there is power and support for you in it. When you find that spot, spend some time there, allowing your body to soak up the feeling of being supported, allow images and sensations to surface. When you feel it is enough, say thank you and leave, walking back to your own place in this lineage. Turn to face your own life, breathe in deeply to fully come back, remembering the support of those behind you. Last time I did this for myself, as I walked through the field of ancestors I went straight for my great grandmother, who hugged me tightly and I rested my head in her. She felt very big and I - very small, and there was so much comfort in this embrace. For days after that I felt her behind me, that I am not alone, and there are those who wish me well on my journey through life. You might think to yourself that you are just imagining stuff - good, imagine more! It doesn't matter how it works as long as it does. Do let me know how it goes for you and if you have any questions or would like to explore more I am only an email away.
New tool I designed to help with home practice for those who would like to continue their exploration of ancestral field after the workshop or individual session. There are 25 cards of high quality thick paper that allow you to set up your family tree and walk in it, stand in each position and explore your feelings there, maybe use sentences where it feels right. Or set up a mini constellation - you and your female line, you and your siblings, or you and your children to explore the dynamic of those relationships. Many options to play with, many insights to gain. You are welcome to email me to order these cards and I will post them to you the next day. They have cards for 'I', parents, grandparents, great grandparents, siblings, ancestors and descendants and a card with brief instructions.
I am fascinated by the Systemic Family Constellations work and everything shamanic. I study it, practice it, research it. Here, I am sharing what I learn and hope it can be of use to somebody interested in healing their families, communities and lives.
In 2019 I published some of my poetry inspired by systemic work in this journal. It is available as PDF, Kindle or printed at the link above.