constellations in words
As I look at my blurry reflection in the window of a moving train, with a beautiful sunny landscape whooshing by, I see all my grandmothers and great-grandmothers peering back at me: the tatars, the jews, the russians, the ukrainians. As if all of them merged into one pair of eyes, one blurry woman with a shawl on her shoulders.
I squint in the bright sun, and look harder. I want to know what was their way to be in the world without collapsing under its pressure. Of course, my pressures are nothing like theirs, thankfully I have a safe well-provided life doing what I want where I want. A privilege they didn't have. Still, I feel sometimes that being alive and awake asks so much of me that I am lost for ways to handle it.
Climate change, poverty, brexit, trump, zika, homelessness, war refugees, earthquakes, fracking, oil spills... from the moment I wake up I am bombarded by pleads for help, to save, to donate, to petition, to contribute...I stopped reading bad-news papers and watching bad-news TV a long time ago and still I manage to walk into it all every day. The enormity of ask often leaves me paralysed to respond at all. Either I start looking for justification how I am already contributing or simply turn away. The more I turn away the more it stares into my face. The cycle goes on and it is draining.
As I am looking into the eyes of my great grandmothers who survived wars and famine, lost their husbands and children, were deprived of their homes and safety, I ask them - how did you manage carrying the world on your shoulders? What sustained you as women, as human beings, mothers and daughters?
They look back at me for what seems like a very long time.
Then they tell me - life is sacred in any circumstances. It is a precious blessing. Love sustains it. One day, one step, one breath at a time. Bringing love into life. What you cannot change, you can love. When you cannot help, you can love. When there is nothing left, you can love. Let it flow now.
The words resonate deep in my body, tears come to my eyes. Is it that simple, my head wonders. But my heart already knows and is taking measures - opening the gates of love from the inside to flood every little thing on the outside. I love you. Thank you my dear wise ladies. Until we meet again.
(Image: Uknown as yet)
I am fascinated by the Systemic Family Constellations work. I study it, practice it, research it. Here, I am sharing what I learn and hope it can be of use to somebody interested in healing their families, communities and lives.
In 2019 I published some of my poetry inspired by systemic work in this journal. It is available as PDF, Kindle or printed at the link above.