Our ancestral fields - family trees are numerous and diverse. There is no way for us to know all of our ancestors, some are lucky to have quite a detailed and long family history available and for some even the closest ancestors are a mystery. No matter what we know in our conscious awareness, on a level of our soul and our epigenetics and genetics we are always connected to that field ‘behind’ us. We carry their stories in our bodies; we follow in their steps, make their mistakes and continue what they have started. We inherit their trauma and we inherit their wisdom and strength. We receive their blessings and curses, we entangle with their destinies. We do this out of love and deep loyalties to our tribe, to those who gave us life and who gave us this chance on earth, who was instrumental in our survival.
In all those centuries of ancestors everything that could have been has already happened. All sorrows and happiness, all loss and love. Every family has a history of pain but it also holds and treasurers stories of success, love and tenderness.
When we are faced with a question or an issue that bugs us and prevents us from good night sleep, when we don’t know what to do, how to do it, what is the right step – we can connect with Those who know. Those who came before us, experienced life and found a way out, found an answer, found right solution.
A simple meditation is to set up three or four (or as you are guided) stones to represent ‘Those who know’ and one for ‘you’. First take a place of ‘you’, allow yourself to drop into your body, take a deep breath, notice what is going on inside of you, hold your question in your awareness but focus on your body. Look at ‘Those who know’ in front of you and notice what changes in you when you know they are there. Introduce yourself as their descendant and present them with your question. Notice what happens in your body, when you do that.
Step out of your place and chose one of the ‘Those who know’ place to step in to. As you take a place of representing ‘Those who know’, take time to listen to your body. Notice what happens as you represent an ancient one. Look at your descendant who is asking a question from 2019, notice how it feels. As you focus on your body allow an answer to emerge from deep within you. It could be a subtle knowing, or a sensation or a word or a full-formed answer. It could be just a confirmation of support whatever happens, or a feeling of being on the right path. It will happen in your own way. Offer it to your descendant in a short, concise, kind wording. It always helps to speak out loud even when you are on your own. Vibration of words is as important as their meaning.
Step out of ‘Those who know’ and back into ‘you’. Allow yourself to hear the answer and to fully receive it. Thank them for their support. Take a deep breath in and out and finish this meditation.
Representing your family tree is a great practice to connect with your place in your family, to visualise all these lives lived before you, to see patterns and get insights. It might be of use especially when feeling unsupported and lonely. Spending some time with this field, maybe turning your back to it to feel all of them behind you can be quite healing and grounding. There is no need in any major interventions, just being there, paying attention is enough. In some South African traditions they have regular ceremonies with ancestors either asking for something or giving thanks depending on the need and time of day. They use special poetic language, bring offerings and burn herbs. It is a beautiful ceremony of connections with all those who came before, their support and blessings. I believe we don't have to have it in our cultures to be able to connect with ancestral blessings and support, we just need to be present, give our attention and say - 'Thank you for my life'.
Tuning in into collective memory of your tribe helps you become who you are meant to be. Morphic resonance on the basis of similarity. Great little video by Rupert Sheldrake. His books are fascinating.
I am working on a new project of combining systemic ritual and constellations methodology to create a transformational ceremony for any event - wedding, memorial, birth, naming, moving houses, birthday. I have trained with the Fellowship of Professional Celebrants in Funeral and Wedding ceremonies and will blend in everything I know from my constellations and ritual practice. Watch this space for an announcement of my new website launch! So exciting!
This is a great way to start your day, to stretch all the muscles, to energise all meridians and to greet Directions and the Sun. Starting in the East, you repeat these moves four rounds of four sides. In the video it is one round of four sides. The words are: Fly like an Eagle, circling the World with Love, give Love to the Earth - receive, give Love to the Great Spirit - receive; [repeat the same starting with the other leg]; give Love to the Brothers and Sisters - receive, give Love to the Brothers and Sisters - receive.
It is a great way to practice gratitude to everything that is, and to exchange Love with the Universe and Mother Earth and all its Beings. Enjoy!
Paint your life
A colour of sun
Breathe in vibration
Of shining gold
Stare in the eye of a crow
And say hello
To the dawn mystery
Holding the unknown
When the crow replies
With the song of the world
Bow with gratitude
Release what is old
Life is sacred
The crow tells
My love is reflected
In his bottomless eyes
And off he flies into the rising sun of India
A guided mediation I created for women to connect with they ancestors and receive blessings and gifts for them. Every time you do it your ancestors get blessed too, so feel free to add it to your regular practice for ancestral healing.
When we have repeated negative thoughts and strong beliefs about ourselves it could be that we didn't just come up with it as a result of our own experience but it may be a result of a curse.
It is a very strong word. It carries many connotations from various eras and traditions. But its weight also emphasises the power our words and intentions hold. Setting aside 'professional' curse creation, most of us have at some point done a little unintentional cursing that might have long term consequences unbeknown to us.
A child being absolutely taken by the joy of expressing her love to the divine in a choir singing to just be shut down and publicly shamed for being loud and standing out is cursed to stop singing and will reinforce and grow this message and intention into a believe and an identity of a woman who is just not into signing or having no talent for it. Angry, upset Ex cursing her former partner in a chat with a friend and this friend ‘helping’ by wishing he stays forever alone. A woman whose life choices were dramatically limited by her farther cursing him with all her righteous anger when she fails to achieve her dream. Jealous sibling wishing she were the only child from the depth of her heart. Sometimes this could be a systemic family dynamic, when people remember their grandmother cursing her husband, or grandfather cursing all medical doctors, then in constellations we see the entanglements of the grandchildren with those curse energies and their consequences.
Examples are multiple and depending what framework we choose, these could be named differently. It could be called conditioning or programing. It could be shadow work. It could be addressed by a practitioner or by self-help book or in your own deep inner work.
It takes so little and most of the time we don’t even notice we do it. We just want to rebalance the unfairness that we experience at that very moment. The quickest way we know is using our voice and words to express a whish that the other person is being put in to their place. The power of our feelings and sincere intentions is huge. We might laugh about it or shrug it off but then remember the moment in your childhood when your heart was shut down by one word, or look, or gesture, or silence. Just to say, we all do it and we need to become aware of it. It has consequences that last decades and take a lot of personal work to undo.
As you get angry with somebody and fuming with rage, it is important not to suppress it and it is important not to direct it at anyone around you. As you become aware of your strong powerful feelings, send a little prayer that this rage doesn’t harm anyone but empowers your life transforming into a resource. Intention matters. Awareness is key.
South african workshops experience-
Unforgettable birthday blessings.
We gather to run a ritual
I pray, drum and sing habitually;
We invite helping spirit of fire flames,
We cross many borders of time and space
Calling in missing parts of our souls;
We enter the dreamworld respectfully
Guides watch our back carefully
Our essence come back happily
We lovingly integrate on return.
South african present and future
Held with prayer with love together
Healing happening layer by layer
Restoring the flow of love.
Horses playing with dogs around us,
Pincushions showing the way,
Wheel of heart eternally nurturing
Hands full of ancestral abundance.
I am something good from your past
I am something good from your future
We are partaking in feast
Of joyful tears and healing gifts
Gratitude flows all ways
East south west north below and above
Heart is expressed through voice in space
Song is transforming resistance to love.
Beautiful people magnificent land
Creatures after my heart,
Blessings to what is unfolding and what lies ahead
May this delight be repeated again
Last days of August I spent in Helsinki taking part and supporting a three days workshop led by Daan van Kampenhout for about eighty Russian speaking participants. Daan first mentioned the possibility of this workshop about a year before and prior to that there were multiple attempts to put something like this together.
Russian speaking part of the world has high regard for this work but having the language barrier only few can attend systemic ritual workshops in person. So this opportunity has been long awaited and gathered people from far and wide. Similar to workshops in Paris, there was a dedicated professional interpreter with a good history of working with international teachers. It was important to hold this workshop on a neutral ground as this enabled everyone to be on the same page, being guests in a beautiful country, step out of routine scenery and journey to get to those three days of magic.
And that is exactly how it felt – magic. Deep, insightful, poetic, healing process that opened hearts, it focused a lot on seeing goodness, blessings and strength in the ancestral field, retraining our minds that are so used to looking for what is wrong, for a weak link. Focusing on ancestral resources and healing we worked with themes of children and parents, mothers and daughters, symptoms and four levels of the soul, past and future resources, alcoholism and disconnection from ancestors, relationships and money etc.
Every day had a different group dynamic and by day three the tension started rising as it became clear that there was no time to address all requests made. Daan held it beautifully constantly staying in touch with higher powers to surrender any control of what was unfolding and letting go of expectations. It also helped to have several rituals that allowed everyone to work on their own issues at the same time. Having a group of almost eighty systemic practitioners holding space for each other for three days made such work possible.
Personally it was an incredible honour to be there and to be of service to the land of my ancestors in that way. I believe the fact that I live far from that land and am not invested into it allowed me to contribute freely and completely openly. It touched me deeply to see how many people are doing this work and to have a chance to participate in healing the wounds of the land and ancestors. I pray that more healing is possible, balance restored and loving connections made in all parts of that beautiful part of the world, place of my birth.
Daan Van Kampenhout website
Systemic Ritual community in the UK
My upcoming systemic ritual in London
I am fascinated by the Systemic Family Constellations work and everything shamanic. I study it, practice it, research it. Here, I am sharing what I learn and hope it can be of use to somebody interested in healing their families, communities and lives.
In 2019 I published some of my poetry inspired by systemic work in this journal. It is available as PDF, Kindle or printed at the link above.